There is an inherent power imbalance in the patient-doctor relationship. The doctor has the medical knowledge. The waiting room is their environment. The appointments are brief, the terminology is unfamiliar, and the stakes feel impossibly high. It is easy to leave an appointment having said none of the things you meant to say, having asked none of the questions you had prepared.
But you are not a passive recipient of your own care. You are an essential member of your treatment team, and your voice matters.
Write down your questions before every appointment. This sounds simple, but it is genuinely transformative. When you are sitting in an exam room under fluorescent lights, anxiety can blank out everything you meant to ask. Having questions written down means they survive the anxiety. Bring a notebook or your phone. Refer to it. Ask every question on your list before you leave.
Bring someone with you when possible. A second set of ears is invaluable. Your companion can listen while you are processing, remember things you might miss, and help you reconstruct the conversation afterward. They can also notice if you seem confused or distressed in ways that you might not show consciously.
Ask for clarification without embarrassment. "Can you say that in simpler terms?" and "I want to make sure I understood — can you repeat that?" are completely legitimate things to say to any doctor, any time. Medical jargon is not intuitive, and understanding your own treatment plan is not a luxury — it is a necessity.
Be honest about your symptoms and how you are actually feeling, even if you worry it seems like complaining. Underreporting your experience means your care team cannot respond appropriately. The nausea that you described as "mild" when it is actually debilitating affects the medication they prescribe. The pain you rated as a four when it is really an eight affects their assessment. Tell the truth about how you are doing.
If something does not feel right — about a decision, a recommendation, or the care you are receiving — say so. Ask about alternatives. Request a second opinion if you want one. A good medical team will respect this, not resent it. Your instincts about your own body deserve to be in the room.