Cancer does not only cost the person who is ill. It costs the family. Lost income when a primary earner cannot work. Additional expenses for care, transportation, medications. Career decisions made or deferred because of a loved one's illness. The financial impact on families supporting someone with cancer is real, significant, and rarely discussed with the honesty it deserves.
You may be in a position where you have reduced your own working hours to provide care. Or spent savings on expenses insurance does not cover. Or taken on debt during a period of treatment. Or made career decisions — turning down opportunities, leaving jobs, relocating or not relocating — because of your family member's illness. These are real sacrifices, and they have real consequences.
You are allowed to feel the weight of this. Acknowledging financial stress during a loved one's illness does not mean you love them less or that money matters more than they do. It means you are a whole person with a whole life that is being affected, and all of it deserves acknowledgment.
Seek financial help that is specifically available to families of cancer patients. Patient navigator programs, oncology social workers, and nonprofit organizations often have resources not just for the patient but for families — assistance with transportation, lodging near treatment centers, utility bills, and more. Ask at the hospital. Many families do not know these resources exist.
If there are multiple family members who can contribute financially, have an honest conversation about the reality of the situation and what each person can contribute. Inequality in financial contribution, like inequality in caregiving, can create resentment if it is not addressed directly.
And if you are making major financial decisions — selling a home, taking on significant debt, liquidating retirement savings — please speak with a financial counselor first if at all possible. Decisions made in crisis without professional guidance can have consequences that extend well beyond the period of illness. There are sometimes slower, more sustainable paths that are not visible when you are in the middle of the emergency.