The bereavement leave ends. The world expects you back. And you go, because you need to, because there is no alternative, because staying home has started to feel like its own kind of impossible. You put on whatever version of yourself you can assemble and you go.
And then you sit in a meeting and someone mentions something trivial, or makes a joke, or talks about weekend plans, and you think: how is this all still happening? How does the ordinary world just continue like this?
This dissonance — between the weight of your loss and the relentless ordinariness of professional life — is one of the most jarring aspects of grief. The world has not stopped. Your workplace has not restructured itself around your loss. The deadlines are still there. The expectations are still there. And you are somehow expected to meet them while carrying something that makes all of it feel meaningless.
Be honest about your capacity, at least with yourself. You are probably not performing at full capacity right now, and that is okay. What matters is that you are there and you are trying. Give yourself permission to do good enough work during this period, not perfect work. The perfection can come back when you have more to give.
If you have a manager or HR department you trust, consider telling them what you are going through. You do not need to share details. But "I'm still processing a significant loss and I may need some flexibility over the coming weeks" is a reasonable thing to communicate, and most workplaces, when told clearly, can make some accommodation.
Find one or two colleagues who can be real with you, and be real with them. You do not need everyone at work to know your grief. But having one or two people who will not require you to pretend to be fine can make an enormous difference in how sustainable the return to work feels.
The return to work can also, eventually, be a source of comfort. Structure, purpose, moments of genuine engagement — work provides things that grief can hollow out. The goal is not to use work to avoid grieving. It is to let the ordinary rhythm of professional life coexist with the grief, providing a counterweight on days when the weight of loss is otherwise crushing.